Ok, sorry, I didn't get to post anything last night... had a quick trip to Tuscaloosa! So, what has been going on with me??? Where do I begin? Umm... well we lost our manager at work, so I have to take the other set of "manager keys"... the only good thing about that, is I don't have to work with that assistant manager!! So basically work sucks more than ever now... but I will get through it.
Dustin left to go home today... THANK GOD!!!
I went to a Christmas party the other night, my "date" was an older guy that works for one of the radio stations up here. We are just friends, so I decided "what the heck, go have a good time." Well, I got a call from him a few hours ago... his boss(es) basically accused him of bringing an escort!! WTF?!?! ME?? Seriously?? Long story short, they said it looked that way b/c he could never get someone like me (their words.."young and good-looking") to date him!! OK, I admit, I laughed when he told me this... but I am sure HE didn't. Oh well... what can I say?
FINALLY!!! All my Christmas shopping is D-O-N-E!!! Now, time to sit back, relax, then get up and start wrapping!! Haha!
I know there is alot more I could get into, but right now... I cant. But, let's just say, things are going good for me... and I will update you when I can! ;)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I am STILL alive...
I have just been VERY busy!! I will try to fill in the huge hole tonight... That is gonna be a long one. Well, I am off... gotta work for 11 hours!! ARGHHH!!!!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Date like a MAN, so you don't get played like a ...
Ok, so as I said before I am kinda, sorta, dating this guy Dustin. Yeah its great cuz he is leaving in January and we can't get attached and all emotional. Well one slight change in those plans, maybe two.
I was sitting in his hotel room the Monday night and some how the word "feelings" came up. He asked if if I am still ok with "casual dating." I look at him with all honesty and say, "I can date like a man... no feelings, no commitment." He laughs and everything is cool. A little while later he goes to take the trash out, and Jeremy, his friend, says that he is so glad to be back in town. (They went to Ohio for Thanksgiving.)
"Really? Why? This town is dead."
"Because I swear if I heard your name one more time over the weekend I was gonna go insane!"
Huh?? Casual dating, right?? Well when I went to leave Monday night, Dustin gave me a big hug and said that he was glad he was back and that he missed me. Ok, then. Why do I not see this turning out like I thought it would?
So Tuesday night I head out that way (because seriously there is NOTHING to do in this town.) Well Dustin tells me that instead of them leaving in January, they are only gonna be here for about 3 more weeks, their job they are doing is having lay offs or something. He just found out today, and he didn't wanna tell me unless he knew for sure.
"Oh, ok." I reply.
"Well we should be back in about 4 months or so."
I nod, still watching TV.
"Do you not have anything to say?" he asks.
Really?! What do I say? This is casual, or supposed to be. I look at him and say, "What should I say?" Jokingly I almost say -"Don't go!"
"I don't know. That you are gonna miss me and we need to keep in touch until then."
"Ok, I'll miss you, stay in touch." Good enough? Guess not, he mopes and is acting really weird. HELLO!! This was agreed upon before our first "date." You are only here for a short while, we don't get serious, we don't expect anything outta the other, this is NOT a relationship. How come no one can follow these rules? Well, we will see how things play out...
So, today is my birthday. I have been putting bets on who would call, who would forget and who would be the first to call me. I lost that last one!! At 3:45 this morning my cell phone goes off... it's Adam. Now, we dated really briefly, and then we just never could get on the same page as far as timing.
Well he is slightly intoxicated. He thinks this is a good opportunity to tell me exactly how he feels about me. You know the saying, "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts"? He says that he really wants to be with me, he could see himself with me long term, and all that. Surprisingly, it's nice to hear. I remind him of the distance between us and that it's not fair to either of us to try this... long distance relationships never work out. Then he says the sweetest thing (which would normally send me running for the hills) "I will wait for you. You will see, we will be together."
So I start thinking today --what's wrong with him? NOT like that! Just what has been holding me back from dating him? Other than I was dating Matt before and now I moved away, there is nothing. So?? I do have a chance to maybe go back to Tuscaloosa with my job... do I take it? Now I moved up here for a guy (big mistake) but if I move back, well it's not because of him - that's where my family is. Do I even think about it? Should I try? I need to ponder this one a little more...
I was sitting in his hotel room the Monday night and some how the word "feelings" came up. He asked if if I am still ok with "casual dating." I look at him with all honesty and say, "I can date like a man... no feelings, no commitment." He laughs and everything is cool. A little while later he goes to take the trash out, and Jeremy, his friend, says that he is so glad to be back in town. (They went to Ohio for Thanksgiving.)
"Really? Why? This town is dead."
"Because I swear if I heard your name one more time over the weekend I was gonna go insane!"
Huh?? Casual dating, right?? Well when I went to leave Monday night, Dustin gave me a big hug and said that he was glad he was back and that he missed me. Ok, then. Why do I not see this turning out like I thought it would?
So Tuesday night I head out that way (because seriously there is NOTHING to do in this town.) Well Dustin tells me that instead of them leaving in January, they are only gonna be here for about 3 more weeks, their job they are doing is having lay offs or something. He just found out today, and he didn't wanna tell me unless he knew for sure.
"Oh, ok." I reply.
"Well we should be back in about 4 months or so."
I nod, still watching TV.
"Do you not have anything to say?" he asks.
Really?! What do I say? This is casual, or supposed to be. I look at him and say, "What should I say?" Jokingly I almost say -"Don't go!"
"I don't know. That you are gonna miss me and we need to keep in touch until then."
"Ok, I'll miss you, stay in touch." Good enough? Guess not, he mopes and is acting really weird. HELLO!! This was agreed upon before our first "date." You are only here for a short while, we don't get serious, we don't expect anything outta the other, this is NOT a relationship. How come no one can follow these rules? Well, we will see how things play out...
So, today is my birthday. I have been putting bets on who would call, who would forget and who would be the first to call me. I lost that last one!! At 3:45 this morning my cell phone goes off... it's Adam. Now, we dated really briefly, and then we just never could get on the same page as far as timing.
Well he is slightly intoxicated. He thinks this is a good opportunity to tell me exactly how he feels about me. You know the saying, "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts"? He says that he really wants to be with me, he could see himself with me long term, and all that. Surprisingly, it's nice to hear. I remind him of the distance between us and that it's not fair to either of us to try this... long distance relationships never work out. Then he says the sweetest thing (which would normally send me running for the hills) "I will wait for you. You will see, we will be together."
So I start thinking today --what's wrong with him? NOT like that! Just what has been holding me back from dating him? Other than I was dating Matt before and now I moved away, there is nothing. So?? I do have a chance to maybe go back to Tuscaloosa with my job... do I take it? Now I moved up here for a guy (big mistake) but if I move back, well it's not because of him - that's where my family is. Do I even think about it? Should I try? I need to ponder this one a little more...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Rammer Jammer....
OMG!!! We won!! Alabama defeated Auburn... in Tuscaloosa! We ended their 6 year win streak and their 6 win streak in Tuscaloosa!! ROLL TIDE ROLL!! The best part of the game, in my opinion... Auburn was going for a field goal - they kicked it and made it. Nope not good, there was a time out called before the snap. Go job Saban... so lets try again. Snap, kick... BLOCKED!!! That was their ONLY chance to score all game!! A shut out... 36-0!! I know next week we will be the underdog, but we have been there before. This is the year... undefeated season and National Champions!!
Ok, next! I know a while back I said I would get to the Dustin topic.. here goes. (from the beginning...) He opened an account with my back a few weeks ago. Trina, who works with me, told me a really cute guy came in, blah blah blah. So she was talking about him and that he is only up here for a short time, construction work, and that I should talk to him. Umm, no thanks... I don't want or need a guy right now!
So a few days pass and he comes back in.. I start talking to him, well actually harassing him because he was hungover -- its fun when people are hung over and don't like loud noise!! Anyways, I ask him and his friend if they ever found anything to do in this crap town. So, he writes his number down and says to call if we find something to do. WE? Ok, so was that for me? For me and Trina? Who?? I take it anyway. The next day, a Saturday, I am trying to find something to do (it was Bama's off week) so I decide to text Dustin. So, this process takes a while, I am a chicken. I finally write, "This is Kim form the bank whats up?" dang it took 10 mins to send that?! So long story short we decide to go to Chili's and have a few drinks and watch some football game. Well $100.00 and plenty of drinks later I am ready to go. No more details... :) Nothing too bad though.
So I talk to him everyday since then.. This is perfect I decide. Not because he is so nice, and cute, and a love hanging out with him... but because he leaves in January!! I know that sounds bad, but I really don't want anything serious, and we talked about that. So, if I fall for this guy... I am retarded... I know that he is leaving and I know when. We will see how things go... but for now I am having fun! And that's all that matters!
Oh yeah... one more thing... READ Twilight!! I started reading it the other night and I am totally addicted! cant wait to see the movie!
Ok, next! I know a while back I said I would get to the Dustin topic.. here goes. (from the beginning...) He opened an account with my back a few weeks ago. Trina, who works with me, told me a really cute guy came in, blah blah blah. So she was talking about him and that he is only up here for a short time, construction work, and that I should talk to him. Umm, no thanks... I don't want or need a guy right now!
So a few days pass and he comes back in.. I start talking to him, well actually harassing him because he was hungover -- its fun when people are hung over and don't like loud noise!! Anyways, I ask him and his friend if they ever found anything to do in this crap town. So, he writes his number down and says to call if we find something to do. WE? Ok, so was that for me? For me and Trina? Who?? I take it anyway. The next day, a Saturday, I am trying to find something to do (it was Bama's off week) so I decide to text Dustin. So, this process takes a while, I am a chicken. I finally write, "This is Kim form the bank whats up?" dang it took 10 mins to send that?! So long story short we decide to go to Chili's and have a few drinks and watch some football game. Well $100.00 and plenty of drinks later I am ready to go. No more details... :) Nothing too bad though.
So I talk to him everyday since then.. This is perfect I decide. Not because he is so nice, and cute, and a love hanging out with him... but because he leaves in January!! I know that sounds bad, but I really don't want anything serious, and we talked about that. So, if I fall for this guy... I am retarded... I know that he is leaving and I know when. We will see how things go... but for now I am having fun! And that's all that matters!
Oh yeah... one more thing... READ Twilight!! I started reading it the other night and I am totally addicted! cant wait to see the movie!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Open a can of...
Well, where do I begin?? I didn't have the "bachlorette" party like I planned... people kept bailing on me. But no need to worry, I will have another one soon, or go out for my birthday.
Next topic... oh yeah... CT! Yeah, you can roll your eyes, I am. So I haven't talked to him in over a week... until today! Crap! He called while I was working and asked that i call him when I got off... something about "we" needed to clarify some things and also that his wifey wanted to ask me some questions. Umm. as delightful as that sounded (*sarcasm*) I said I would think about it. Well I got off work at 4:30 and came home and... took a nap! Yeah calling was NOT high on my priority list. So about 6:30 he called me, and I was about to hop in the shower... so -ignore. Not 10 seconds later there's a knock at the door. Are you kidding me??
Yep. its him. I open and ask what he wants... he starts talking, but all I hear is blah blah blah... something about the wifey wanting to ask me questions that only I can answer, blah blah, and she wants to know if you're pregnant? HUH?!?! Umm, NO! He then says that she is in the car outside... so now what? I go talk to her? No thanks... I really need to get a shower cuz I have to be some where really soon. I tell him that I am really busy and cant talk right now. I also said that if they are gonna work things out, then THEY need to work things out, I am not trying to get back in the middle of this crap. I told him that I was also tired of going thru him with her, if she wanted to talk to me for her to call or email me, but right now I am running late and have to start getting ready. He leaves, and I grab my phone to make 1 quick call... as soon as my friend answers.. BAM, I have a call coming in. Its from his phone, now I don't know what part of call me LATER, I am busy was interpreted into "call me ASAP".. so I ignore it. I finish my shower and finishing getting ready. I head over to see Dustin (that's another story in itself) and when I pull up my phone rings again.
I answer it with full intentions of saying "I am busy and cant talk please read the letter I sent to you on MySpace.
"Hello?"
"This is *the wife*, and I think its really f-ed up that you are not woman enough to at least come talk to me..."
END CALL
Ok, that's why I sent then (her) a message... it said that I was not in the mood to talk; I had had a bad day, and I was scared that if I talked to her I would come across bitchy- which I didn't want to do. So I asked her to either give me a day or 2, or message me back. But, NO! I was furious... that was one of my concerns... I told CT that if she called and was going to get an attitude, I would NOT talk. So, if she wanted to get rude, she had better start typing. WTF?!?!
I am trying really hard to get over this whole thing and move on... but its really hard when they call and stop by for a "visit." I am so over this... why cant they be? I understand that I kinda got myself in this, but seriously, when can we all move on with our lives??
Ok, I will fill you in later if there is any MORE drama... just keep your fingers crossed that this is the last entry on this situation! But there will be more of the Dustin thing, maybe tomorrow!
Next topic... oh yeah... CT! Yeah, you can roll your eyes, I am. So I haven't talked to him in over a week... until today! Crap! He called while I was working and asked that i call him when I got off... something about "we" needed to clarify some things and also that his wifey wanted to ask me some questions. Umm. as delightful as that sounded (*sarcasm*) I said I would think about it. Well I got off work at 4:30 and came home and... took a nap! Yeah calling was NOT high on my priority list. So about 6:30 he called me, and I was about to hop in the shower... so -ignore. Not 10 seconds later there's a knock at the door. Are you kidding me??
Yep. its him. I open and ask what he wants... he starts talking, but all I hear is blah blah blah... something about the wifey wanting to ask me questions that only I can answer, blah blah, and she wants to know if you're pregnant? HUH?!?! Umm, NO! He then says that she is in the car outside... so now what? I go talk to her? No thanks... I really need to get a shower cuz I have to be some where really soon. I tell him that I am really busy and cant talk right now. I also said that if they are gonna work things out, then THEY need to work things out, I am not trying to get back in the middle of this crap. I told him that I was also tired of going thru him with her, if she wanted to talk to me for her to call or email me, but right now I am running late and have to start getting ready. He leaves, and I grab my phone to make 1 quick call... as soon as my friend answers.. BAM, I have a call coming in. Its from his phone, now I don't know what part of call me LATER, I am busy was interpreted into "call me ASAP".. so I ignore it. I finish my shower and finishing getting ready. I head over to see Dustin (that's another story in itself) and when I pull up my phone rings again.
I answer it with full intentions of saying "I am busy and cant talk please read the letter I sent to you on MySpace.
"Hello?"
"This is *the wife*, and I think its really f-ed up that you are not woman enough to at least come talk to me..."
END CALL
Ok, that's why I sent then (her) a message... it said that I was not in the mood to talk; I had had a bad day, and I was scared that if I talked to her I would come across bitchy- which I didn't want to do. So I asked her to either give me a day or 2, or message me back. But, NO! I was furious... that was one of my concerns... I told CT that if she called and was going to get an attitude, I would NOT talk. So, if she wanted to get rude, she had better start typing. WTF?!?!
I am trying really hard to get over this whole thing and move on... but its really hard when they call and stop by for a "visit." I am so over this... why cant they be? I understand that I kinda got myself in this, but seriously, when can we all move on with our lives??
Ok, I will fill you in later if there is any MORE drama... just keep your fingers crossed that this is the last entry on this situation! But there will be more of the Dustin thing, maybe tomorrow!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Good night all...
Ok, so I was not planning on writing today... but someone told me to :) So, let's see... work is still work, really boring or so stressful I wanna slit my wrists. I do have some maybe good news, I might get to move home! It's a maybe though... someone is gonna talk to the Regional VP and hopefully put in a good word for me, so that when the Northport branch opens up I can work there. A part of me LOVES the idea, going home, seeing friends and family... but then again, it would be home. The same b.s. I have dealt with before, the same drama I left 4 months ago. ARGHH I just don't know. I will have to think about it and weigh my options.
I think I may get to go visit Cali this spring though! I got a "friend" (but that's a whole other topic... we will get to that another time) that is out there, and he is gonna be going back to Iraq (or somewhere) this summer. He asked if I wanted to go visit. Who says "no" to a visit to Cali? Not me! So, I am trying to see when I could go... and figure out how I am gonna pay for it. He is gonna take me to LA to see Hollywood, Beverly Hills, tons of stuff!! Yeah... I hope I get to go!
Oh yeah.. I get to go see the Chippendale's this Saturday! It's for the fake bachlorette party! That's gonna be so much fun! Of course, I don't know how many free drinks we are gonna get if there are male strippers there... maybe we need a "pre-party" drinking place. We will see about that. Hmm... now I have to figure this out. Maybe a "post-party" drinking spot too... you can NEVER have too many drinking spots. Ok, well I am gonna get off here and try and plan this thing!
L8R!
I think I may get to go visit Cali this spring though! I got a "friend" (but that's a whole other topic... we will get to that another time) that is out there, and he is gonna be going back to Iraq (or somewhere) this summer. He asked if I wanted to go visit. Who says "no" to a visit to Cali? Not me! So, I am trying to see when I could go... and figure out how I am gonna pay for it. He is gonna take me to LA to see Hollywood, Beverly Hills, tons of stuff!! Yeah... I hope I get to go!
Oh yeah.. I get to go see the Chippendale's this Saturday! It's for the fake bachlorette party! That's gonna be so much fun! Of course, I don't know how many free drinks we are gonna get if there are male strippers there... maybe we need a "pre-party" drinking place. We will see about that. Hmm... now I have to figure this out. Maybe a "post-party" drinking spot too... you can NEVER have too many drinking spots. Ok, well I am gonna get off here and try and plan this thing!
L8R!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
BLAH...
Not much going on today... Bama won though! ROLL TIDE ROLL!! So, we are now 11-0 We only have Auburn left in our regular season.. then we have to beat Florida in the SEC Championship game to make it to the National Championship! I just wish we had played better.. we are gonna have to step it up in the next 2 weeks.. Auburn has won the last, what, 6 games against Bama? Not only are we #1, so they have that to take away, they are our in state rival, but if they lose to us, they are not bowl eligible! So there is alot riding on this game! Well, I am trying to do this and talk online... so until next time.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
agape
OMG!! So I found out that actually getting the tattoo on my ribs is nothing compared to the pain you feel the next day. Seriously, I feel like I have been beat with a baseball bat. My entire left rib cage is bruised. Oh well, it was worth it! So everyone keeps asking what my tattoo says and what it means. It says "agape" and it Latin or Greek (can't remember) for "unconditional love." It summarizes exactly what I need right now. I mean, think about it -- isn't that what we all need? Unconditional love? I know I do. Someone that I can tell every part of my life to, and that person still loves me. All of it, the good, the bad, the totally messed up side that I try to hide. I want someone that knows me better than anyone else, and loves me more than anyone else.
Saying that my mom is not too big on tattoos is an understatement. She HATES them. She asked why this particular tattoo, I told her what it represented to me. That it was going to remind me of what I deserve and need... and what I will get. She didn't like that tattoo idea, but she said she understood. She knows all the crap I have been dealing with, and that I still am dealing with. I know I don't deserve what I am putting myself through, so this tattoo is going to help me, to remind me that one day I will get everything I want, need, deserve, and that I am waiting for. Now don't get me wrong, I am still gonna have fun! I just am not going to get myself worked up over something or someone that I have to "settle" for. So, I will still be me, just waiting on this "agape."
Saying that my mom is not too big on tattoos is an understatement. She HATES them. She asked why this particular tattoo, I told her what it represented to me. That it was going to remind me of what I deserve and need... and what I will get. She didn't like that tattoo idea, but she said she understood. She knows all the crap I have been dealing with, and that I still am dealing with. I know I don't deserve what I am putting myself through, so this tattoo is going to help me, to remind me that one day I will get everything I want, need, deserve, and that I am waiting for. Now don't get me wrong, I am still gonna have fun! I just am not going to get myself worked up over something or someone that I have to "settle" for. So, I will still be me, just waiting on this "agape."
Thursday, November 13, 2008
OK, so I got to go back home for a day. I had a few things to take care of, and then time to have fun. Cuz, I know I need to have fun right now. So, when I got in Wednesday night, I met up with a friend and we went to the movies. Pride and Glory was good.. I guess. I think I was stressing too much. My friend I went with is a guy, and one that I had dated before. I didn't know if this was a "date" date, or just friends hanging out. So, maybe the movie would have been better if I wasn't stressing over this. Turns out, it was friends hanging out... which is fine. I love hanging out with him, so I guess it really didn't matter, but I know that right now I don't need a guy in the relationship sense.
Thursday I had to take my car to the dealership... my CD player got hungry and decided to eat one of my CD's! Now it wont play, change tracks, or eject. My extended warranty does not cover radios, so it was gonna be over $1000 to fix it! No thanks, I will go get an aftermarket one later. Then I had a Dr. appointment. Everything checked out ok. Yeah!!
So then after all that, I went a got a new tattoo! On my ribs!! It didn't hurt too bad, I mean I never teared up, but I did grit my teeth a few times. It's an ambigram of the word "agape" -- it means unconditional love. It's killer! Love it, love it, love it! An hour and a half later, I went to visit another friend at the gym. Man I miss that guy! It's funny how people that know you best can tell you the same things you hear everyday, but for some reason you listen more.
After talking Wednesday night after the movies, and then Thursday at the gym, I don't know, I realized that I am better than what I am putting myself through. I deserve better and I don't have to settle for anyone or anything right now. I just wanna have fun! And I guess, I kinda need to "re-learn" myself, you know, remember who I was and not who people think I should be. Thanks you 2... I love ya!
So, on to me having fun. Now, seeing as I don't really know anyone up here, and I am kinda on a budget, I devised a GREAT plan! A bachlorette party! Well, no one I know is really getting married, but others don't know that! So, me pulling the shenanigans I do, I decided to be the bachlorette! Haha :) Well, me and a few girls I know are gonna hit up the club... and you know when you hear about a bride-to-be out for her "last night on the town"-- drinks are pouring! Now, I know this is wrong, but admit it - you would be in on it if you were here!! OK, well I am gonna get off here and get ready for another "wonderful" day at work tomorrow.
Thursday I had to take my car to the dealership... my CD player got hungry and decided to eat one of my CD's! Now it wont play, change tracks, or eject. My extended warranty does not cover radios, so it was gonna be over $1000 to fix it! No thanks, I will go get an aftermarket one later. Then I had a Dr. appointment. Everything checked out ok. Yeah!!
So then after all that, I went a got a new tattoo! On my ribs!! It didn't hurt too bad, I mean I never teared up, but I did grit my teeth a few times. It's an ambigram of the word "agape" -- it means unconditional love. It's killer! Love it, love it, love it! An hour and a half later, I went to visit another friend at the gym. Man I miss that guy! It's funny how people that know you best can tell you the same things you hear everyday, but for some reason you listen more.
After talking Wednesday night after the movies, and then Thursday at the gym, I don't know, I realized that I am better than what I am putting myself through. I deserve better and I don't have to settle for anyone or anything right now. I just wanna have fun! And I guess, I kinda need to "re-learn" myself, you know, remember who I was and not who people think I should be. Thanks you 2... I love ya!
So, on to me having fun. Now, seeing as I don't really know anyone up here, and I am kinda on a budget, I devised a GREAT plan! A bachlorette party! Well, no one I know is really getting married, but others don't know that! So, me pulling the shenanigans I do, I decided to be the bachlorette! Haha :) Well, me and a few girls I know are gonna hit up the club... and you know when you hear about a bride-to-be out for her "last night on the town"-- drinks are pouring! Now, I know this is wrong, but admit it - you would be in on it if you were here!! OK, well I am gonna get off here and get ready for another "wonderful" day at work tomorrow.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Not in High School anymore...
Wow, so I really thought I had graduated high school, and all the high school, "he said, she said" drama was gone! Well apparently not... well at least its not gone if you work at wal-mart! So I go on break today and I saw 2 Wally World employees outside. I walked past them and smiled and said hey, they turned ant looked at each other and started snickering. OK, did I miss something? Fly undone? Toilet paper on my shoe? Nope, nope.
The first one says, to the other (in a little ABOVE a whisper) "I don't know why she has to go after someone else husband... can she not get her own guy?"
"Well, it's not its hard to get him. You know they f****ed. He has f****ed every girl here."
Now, I don't know if I was just really high strung today or what after the comment the other day about my costing CT his job, but yeah I kinda thought it was directed to me, after all CT is still married. Then I thought, "Nah, I am just reading too much into this."
The first one again, "I cant believe she still has HER job, you know that's why he got fired last week." Then a few more sentences that confirmed they were talking about CT.
WHAT?!?! Now, I could totally see this as a normal conversation at wal-mart... if this was these 2 females after school job, (i.e. really young).... but NO. They are in their 40's! Seriously? You have nothing better to do than try to start crap at WalMart?
So I really wanted to say "#1 -DIDN'T "F" HIM! #2 - Trust me I CAN get my own man! #3 - He didn't get fired! 4# - Next time you wanna talk, you might wanna make sure to get the facts straight. But instead, I finished my phone call, smiled at them, walked right on past.... "At least you are on a good topic, keep it up." Then the door shut.
Maybe I could have handled it a little better, but hey -keep talking, it's just giving me more ammo. They have NO CLUE about me... just wait, just wait. Could be an interesting week! I mean, what more can happen? Anyone else? Someone, anyone?
Well, I don't have to work Thursday... going home Wednesday night and coming back Thursday night. Figured I would go watch either Saw 5 or Pride and Glory Wednesday night while I am home...this could be fun!
The first one says, to the other (in a little ABOVE a whisper) "I don't know why she has to go after someone else husband... can she not get her own guy?"
"Well, it's not its hard to get him. You know they f****ed. He has f****ed every girl here."
Now, I don't know if I was just really high strung today or what after the comment the other day about my costing CT his job, but yeah I kinda thought it was directed to me, after all CT is still married. Then I thought, "Nah, I am just reading too much into this."
The first one again, "I cant believe she still has HER job, you know that's why he got fired last week." Then a few more sentences that confirmed they were talking about CT.
WHAT?!?! Now, I could totally see this as a normal conversation at wal-mart... if this was these 2 females after school job, (i.e. really young).... but NO. They are in their 40's! Seriously? You have nothing better to do than try to start crap at WalMart?
So I really wanted to say "#1 -DIDN'T "F" HIM! #2 - Trust me I CAN get my own man! #3 - He didn't get fired! 4# - Next time you wanna talk, you might wanna make sure to get the facts straight. But instead, I finished my phone call, smiled at them, walked right on past.... "At least you are on a good topic, keep it up." Then the door shut.
Maybe I could have handled it a little better, but hey -keep talking, it's just giving me more ammo. They have NO CLUE about me... just wait, just wait. Could be an interesting week! I mean, what more can happen? Anyone else? Someone, anyone?
Well, I don't have to work Thursday... going home Wednesday night and coming back Thursday night. Figured I would go watch either Saw 5 or Pride and Glory Wednesday night while I am home...this could be fun!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Don't say "I told you so"
ok, so upon further review... maybe I was outta line by sending that message. ok, well she finally un-blocked me so I could reply to hers. I think I took the best approach, "kill 'em with kindness"
Short, sweet, to the point, and... not bitchy! I was kinda waiting on another reply, but I think maybe she is mad because I didn't give her any ammo. IDK... well literally not 10 mins after send that message and her reading it... a knock on the door. "Trina, I think I am about to be killed. I will try calling you back later." Look through the peephole... a finger is covering it up. Hmmm... What the hell, I answer it. It's CT!! WTF?!?!
"I think your wife hates me. I am sorry. I was just trying to make sure it wasn't my..."
"Shh.. No it's not your fault. I didn't get fired. My life sucks."
"Yeah you can say that. Sorry, I will shut up."
"She is already planting seeds of doubts in my head about this working... DON'T say 'I told you so'."
"OK"
He gives me a hug, and without even thinking I say, "I miss you so much." What?? No, keep your mouth shut!! Crap, now it's out there...
"God, I miss you so much, too. Thanks for being patient and not pressuring me. I can't stop thinking about you. We talked about that email, and all I could think of was how great you really are."
We talked for a few more really quick mins, but he had to go... pulling security at some club. He asked if he could stop by tomorrow... sure why not. I know I should have said no, but honestly, I have like 3 people up here to talk to.
So, in the end I didn't cost him his job, he was not fired, and the wife is more mad at me now because I was "so nice"...
hey.. i am really sorry if you
think i was being disrespectful... i was not sure how your page was listed
and i
honestly wanted to send that message thru you. i figured that you
would read it
anyways, and i didnt want you to think that i was wanting to
talk about anything
else. I know this is a bad situation, and i dont want to
make it worse. I will
not message him anymore. like i said, i just wanted to
make sure he wasnt fired
because of me... yeah i do know how *his boss* is, and so a part of me
said that he is lying and trying to start crap. but it was just the way he
was
talking to me.. idk. i am sorry if i crossed the line. i
apologize.
Short, sweet, to the point, and... not bitchy! I was kinda waiting on another reply, but I think maybe she is mad because I didn't give her any ammo. IDK... well literally not 10 mins after send that message and her reading it... a knock on the door. "Trina, I think I am about to be killed. I will try calling you back later." Look through the peephole... a finger is covering it up. Hmmm... What the hell, I answer it. It's CT!! WTF?!?!
"I think your wife hates me. I am sorry. I was just trying to make sure it wasn't my..."
"Shh.. No it's not your fault. I didn't get fired. My life sucks."
"Yeah you can say that. Sorry, I will shut up."
"She is already planting seeds of doubts in my head about this working... DON'T say 'I told you so'."
"OK"
He gives me a hug, and without even thinking I say, "I miss you so much." What?? No, keep your mouth shut!! Crap, now it's out there...
"God, I miss you so much, too. Thanks for being patient and not pressuring me. I can't stop thinking about you. We talked about that email, and all I could think of was how great you really are."
We talked for a few more really quick mins, but he had to go... pulling security at some club. He asked if he could stop by tomorrow... sure why not. I know I should have said no, but honestly, I have like 3 people up here to talk to.
So, in the end I didn't cost him his job, he was not fired, and the wife is more mad at me now because I was "so nice"...
YEAH!!! We did it! We went into Baton Rouge, and beat LSU! But, those calls?? WTF? Seems like everyone was wanting us to get beat! And what was up with the field goal.. well the "no" field goal... kick the ball higher!! We still won, and we are 10-0, and still #1... ROLL TIDE ROLL!! I saw the best shirt today, too. it had a raccoon on it, with its butt facing you, (standing for *coon ass*)... it read: Whose *coon ass* picked LES? More or less we got the best! -- I <3 IT!
Well, work was work... it sucked. I am tired of all the bs going on. I found out that the reason I have not seen CT around in a few days is that he was fired, supposedly. And supposedly because of me, or so says HIS boss. Whatever! So, I emailed him to see if that was true, but his wifey will prolly read the email first (not sure if he will ever see it) I just want to make sure that I did not cost him his job. So, knowing she would most likely see it, I made extra sure not to try and piss her off. I would have sent it to her, but I don't have her address and she blocked me totally on MySpace.
oh, the *-* is just where I removed their name, to protect the innocent and not so innocent!
So, here is my email:
ok, i totally understand that *your wife* does not want me talking to you... but i have a question. i had a conversation, well a semi-conversation, with *you boss* today. in more or less words he lead me to believe that after you turned in your notice that you were fired. then he made a comment basically saying that i should have known that and that i was the reason?!?! wtf? can you just talk to me about that? if thats true, i am really sorry... never meant to get you in trouble. i swear thats all i want to talk about, so *your wife* doesnt need to worry... i understand where she is coming from and what she is trying to do,and i am not going to disrespect her wishes... but i just want to clear the air. thanks!!
Just checked... someone has read the email, but no response. That figures. Now again, why do I even care? Heck if I know. I don't wanna be blamed for everything, maybe? Maybe I just want him to know that I care? I am gonna just give up and stay away... that might be going through all of your minds right now anyways. But someone told me today "the heart wants what the heart wants" and no one knows why. Well, whenever I see cupid, I am gonna kick him.
Ok, well a response... and its from her! Go figure... And here is what SHE wrote (from her own email):
If you understand that I dont want you talking to my husband then why even bother writing him and asking him ANY question?? Everyone knows how *his boss* is and I'm sure you do as well. You say you don't want to disrespect my wishes?? Then what the hell are you doing now? And to clear the air, no he wasn't fired and thanks for your concern.
*the wife*-
You said I had nothing to worry about...I just wanted to let you know, I know I have NOTHING to worry about.
ok... so I try to make sure everything is ok... I mean after all I was told it was MY fault. Wow... now the nice side of me says, "let it go" but my evil side says, "well you had something to worry about last weekend"
Well, work was work... it sucked. I am tired of all the bs going on. I found out that the reason I have not seen CT around in a few days is that he was fired, supposedly. And supposedly because of me, or so says HIS boss. Whatever! So, I emailed him to see if that was true, but his wifey will prolly read the email first (not sure if he will ever see it) I just want to make sure that I did not cost him his job. So, knowing she would most likely see it, I made extra sure not to try and piss her off. I would have sent it to her, but I don't have her address and she blocked me totally on MySpace.
oh, the *-* is just where I removed their name, to protect the innocent and not so innocent!
So, here is my email:
ok, i totally understand that *your wife* does not want me talking to you... but i have a question. i had a conversation, well a semi-conversation, with *you boss* today. in more or less words he lead me to believe that after you turned in your notice that you were fired. then he made a comment basically saying that i should have known that and that i was the reason?!?! wtf? can you just talk to me about that? if thats true, i am really sorry... never meant to get you in trouble. i swear thats all i want to talk about, so *your wife* doesnt need to worry... i understand where she is coming from and what she is trying to do,and i am not going to disrespect her wishes... but i just want to clear the air. thanks!!
Just checked... someone has read the email, but no response. That figures. Now again, why do I even care? Heck if I know. I don't wanna be blamed for everything, maybe? Maybe I just want him to know that I care? I am gonna just give up and stay away... that might be going through all of your minds right now anyways. But someone told me today "the heart wants what the heart wants" and no one knows why. Well, whenever I see cupid, I am gonna kick him.
Ok, well a response... and its from her! Go figure... And here is what SHE wrote (from her own email):
If you understand that I dont want you talking to my husband then why even bother writing him and asking him ANY question?? Everyone knows how *his boss* is and I'm sure you do as well. You say you don't want to disrespect my wishes?? Then what the hell are you doing now? And to clear the air, no he wasn't fired and thanks for your concern.
*the wife*-
You said I had nothing to worry about...I just wanted to let you know, I know I have NOTHING to worry about.
ok... so I try to make sure everything is ok... I mean after all I was told it was MY fault. Wow... now the nice side of me says, "let it go" but my evil side says, "well you had something to worry about last weekend"
Health Advice for Women
Health Advice for Women
And you don't need a prescription!
IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN.
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor orpharmacist about Chardonnay.
Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confidentabout yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out ofyour shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing todo just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with aregimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent youfrom living the life you want to! live. Shyness and awkwardness will bea thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knewyou had. Stop hiding and start living.
Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss ofmoney, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and playall-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister!
WARNINGS
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whisperingwhen you are not.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends overand over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logicallyconverse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you aretougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
And you don't need a prescription!
IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN.
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor orpharmacist about Chardonnay.
Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confidentabout yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out ofyour shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing todo just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with aregimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent youfrom living the life you want to! live. Shyness and awkwardness will bea thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knewyou had. Stop hiding and start living.
Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss ofmoney, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and playall-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister!
WARNINGS
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whisperingwhen you are not.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends overand over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logicallyconverse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you aretougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
Friday, November 7, 2008
a confused charity case
OK, well I made it through another day at work... kinda. More on that later! So I come home to check my emails and I am still scratching my head. I had applied to be a Patriot Girl for TN back in July, and I was accepted. Now for those of you who don't know about them, they do pics, calendars, and promotional stuff for our troops. I thought I was a great idea. (Seeing as our future president doesn't give a crap about them, I want them to know that there are people out there who support them and think about them.) OK, well the other day I found the site to apply for the Alabama Patriot Girl... so I did. Now mind you, I was already accepted for TN and have talked to the photographer. So I open my mail from AL... and I don't make it!!! WTF?!?! So, I am ok for the TN girls, but not Bama? They all do the same things, and I still look the same! So do Bama girls really look that much different than TN girls?? I know I could make a joke right there... but then I would be the punch line! Whatever...
OK, so work... where do I begin? Well I didn't go in until about 11:30 so I missed the Regional VP when she stopped by. Thank goodness! Apparently, she told my manager to give me a verbal warning because of my attitude towards our Assistant Manager! Well I wouldn't give him attitude if he knew what was going on!! He is completely in over his head... I mean I could do a better job than him! He does not do anything by the rules... and when you ask him why he didn't do something he says, "oh I thought about it but...." No matter how many times I have brought up stuff that has gone wrong because of him, nothing gets done. So I tell the Manager that I am tired of all this and I am done with trying to help. He asks me point blank if I respect the A.M. and I say NO! You have to give respect to get it and you have to earn it! I go into alot of different things with him on why I feel certain ways. He says I need to talk to the A.M. peacefully.. haha good luck! Poor guy has no clue who I am. Anyways, I decide that I am gonna come home cool down and talk about everything tomorrow. Fat chance! As I was leaving the A.M. says that he needs to talk to me. Great... could this get any worse? Well, I somewhat talk... more like I am so mad and upset that I can just sit there or start crying. Finally, I say I have heard enough and I want to leave. So I go. On my way home the Manager calls me to make sure I am ok. I say yeah sure, alot going on and that I wasn't in the mood to talk to the A.M. before. He then tells me that the A.M. wanted to talk to me, not because he is my boss... but because basically he has adopted me as his charity case!! WHAT!?! Trust me, I dont want to be anyones charity case, let alone his! I think I need back on Lexapro... at least when he decides to "help" me. By the way that's like going to a counseling session! "So, Kim what are you feeling? Why do you think that is?" ARGHH! So hopefully tomorrow will be better... oh yeah I never had to see CT today! At least that part was good!
Tomorrow I don't really plan on working... the game will be on in the afternoon, so I might get in like 3 hours of actual work done... but who knows. Saturdays are kinda fun up there... we watch ESPN College Game Day and then flip flop between games. Well, I just hope will beat the Tigers!! Les Miles and LSU, we are coming for you!! ROLL TIDE!!!
OK, so work... where do I begin? Well I didn't go in until about 11:30 so I missed the Regional VP when she stopped by. Thank goodness! Apparently, she told my manager to give me a verbal warning because of my attitude towards our Assistant Manager! Well I wouldn't give him attitude if he knew what was going on!! He is completely in over his head... I mean I could do a better job than him! He does not do anything by the rules... and when you ask him why he didn't do something he says, "oh I thought about it but...." No matter how many times I have brought up stuff that has gone wrong because of him, nothing gets done. So I tell the Manager that I am tired of all this and I am done with trying to help. He asks me point blank if I respect the A.M. and I say NO! You have to give respect to get it and you have to earn it! I go into alot of different things with him on why I feel certain ways. He says I need to talk to the A.M. peacefully.. haha good luck! Poor guy has no clue who I am. Anyways, I decide that I am gonna come home cool down and talk about everything tomorrow. Fat chance! As I was leaving the A.M. says that he needs to talk to me. Great... could this get any worse? Well, I somewhat talk... more like I am so mad and upset that I can just sit there or start crying. Finally, I say I have heard enough and I want to leave. So I go. On my way home the Manager calls me to make sure I am ok. I say yeah sure, alot going on and that I wasn't in the mood to talk to the A.M. before. He then tells me that the A.M. wanted to talk to me, not because he is my boss... but because basically he has adopted me as his charity case!! WHAT!?! Trust me, I dont want to be anyones charity case, let alone his! I think I need back on Lexapro... at least when he decides to "help" me. By the way that's like going to a counseling session! "So, Kim what are you feeling? Why do you think that is?" ARGHH! So hopefully tomorrow will be better... oh yeah I never had to see CT today! At least that part was good!
Tomorrow I don't really plan on working... the game will be on in the afternoon, so I might get in like 3 hours of actual work done... but who knows. Saturdays are kinda fun up there... we watch ESPN College Game Day and then flip flop between games. Well, I just hope will beat the Tigers!! Les Miles and LSU, we are coming for you!! ROLL TIDE!!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Music and Lighthouses
OK, well after my earlier ranting my day was really boring! I cleaned and all that good stuff. I have to get ready to go back to work tomorrow :( and I will have to see and talk to CT... double :( I tried not to think about everything... but isn't it funny how when you try NOT to think about someone... that's all you think about? Like I swear every song on the radio makes me think about him, or the situation. Maybe I should just bust my ear drums. Like right now!!! Yet one more song I cant make myself listen to. Oh and every movie I tried watching was like looking into a mirror in the situation. I could have done without entertainment tonight!
"I don't care what you think... as long as its about me!"
So, I was really bored tonight and I started googling pics of lighthouses... I <3>
"I don't care what you think... as long as its about me!"
So, I was really bored tonight and I started googling pics of lighthouses... I <3>
I guess we all need our own lighthouses at times, guidance. Well, here's to hoping tomorrow is better. I will be back tomorrow to let you know the latest on this crazy love saga! And just to let you know I made it through another day at the bank.
Goodnight and sweet dreams!
what did i get myself into?
OK, so here is a quick background on the situation... I met this guy (I know, I know, roll your eyes) and he is GREAT! I mean, he is a good listener, great to talk to, and not too bad on the eyes! :) Anyways, we really hit things off... everything is perfect... except one thing... he is married! I know, I should not have gotten involved, but what's done is done. So this guy, we will call him CT, told his wife everything about us, I mean EVERYTHING, and they talked about getting a divorce. Well, now she says she is sorry for pushing him away and she wants to work things out. He doesn't know what to do... blah, blah, blah. My thoughts? Her "new found loving/accepting attitude" will last... 3 months... max! But that's just my 2 cents. So anyways, we talked last night about everything. Well, kinda, it was more like "here I wrote you this letter, cuz I know I wont say what I need to say." So, I thought this would be an interesting post... here is the condensed version of the letter:
I am really sorry about my attitude lately. I know that you have a lot on your plate, and I guess I do too. I know that you keep telling me how you feel and I am dead silent afterwards. Its really hard for me to tell you my feelings. If I tell you my true feelings, it is not going to make things an easier for you. Someone is going to get hurt in this situation. Just be honest... be honest with me, with your wife, and with yourself. If you think there is any way for you two to work things out, let me know so I can exit the picture. If you are trying to work things out with her only because everyone is telling you that you owe her that much, tell her. I don't want to cause more stress for you, so I am going to stop the whole "us" thing. Until you really know what you want and need, we can talk or whatever, but nothing more. I am beginning to feel used, and I know you probably don't intend to do that. But this is how I feel. I think that in order to get something you never had, you have to do something you have never done. So I have never just given up or told someone I have feelings for goodbye. I am just going to give you all the space and time that you need to figure things out on your own. I cant and don't want to make your decisions for you. I don't want that hanging over my head. I want you to think about what you have with her, and what you could have with me. Make the decision that makes YOU happy!
He said that he didn't know if they would work out, and felt as if it wouldn't, but that he just couldn't see himself ever telling me goodbye. I told him that this isn't a game, that he isn't a trophy to be won. I know that the more I push him to "pick" me, the more I will eventually push him away. I really do care for this guy, and I never intended for anything to get this far. Oh well. So I basically told him that if he really wanted to be with me to prove it, to come talk to me after the papers are signed. He is not going to get to get his cake and eat it too. So, now I really feel like crap, but I think deep down, I did the right thing. So, besides "you should have never got in this to begin with" any other words of advice?
So, basically now I am trying to figure things out for me. I think that writing is a good way to deal with stuff.... so until the next episode! HAHA :)
I am really sorry about my attitude lately. I know that you have a lot on your plate, and I guess I do too. I know that you keep telling me how you feel and I am dead silent afterwards. Its really hard for me to tell you my feelings. If I tell you my true feelings, it is not going to make things an easier for you. Someone is going to get hurt in this situation. Just be honest... be honest with me, with your wife, and with yourself. If you think there is any way for you two to work things out, let me know so I can exit the picture. If you are trying to work things out with her only because everyone is telling you that you owe her that much, tell her. I don't want to cause more stress for you, so I am going to stop the whole "us" thing. Until you really know what you want and need, we can talk or whatever, but nothing more. I am beginning to feel used, and I know you probably don't intend to do that. But this is how I feel. I think that in order to get something you never had, you have to do something you have never done. So I have never just given up or told someone I have feelings for goodbye. I am just going to give you all the space and time that you need to figure things out on your own. I cant and don't want to make your decisions for you. I don't want that hanging over my head. I want you to think about what you have with her, and what you could have with me. Make the decision that makes YOU happy!
He said that he didn't know if they would work out, and felt as if it wouldn't, but that he just couldn't see himself ever telling me goodbye. I told him that this isn't a game, that he isn't a trophy to be won. I know that the more I push him to "pick" me, the more I will eventually push him away. I really do care for this guy, and I never intended for anything to get this far. Oh well. So I basically told him that if he really wanted to be with me to prove it, to come talk to me after the papers are signed. He is not going to get to get his cake and eat it too. So, now I really feel like crap, but I think deep down, I did the right thing. So, besides "you should have never got in this to begin with" any other words of advice?
So, basically now I am trying to figure things out for me. I think that writing is a good way to deal with stuff.... so until the next episode! HAHA :)
Since moving
Ok, well I know I have lost touch with alot of people from home since I moved to north Alabama... well I moved up here to be with my boyfriend. That only lasted about 3 months, so now I am on my own!! Well, at least I dont have to share a bathroom with a guy... I cant stand that! So, lets see... I am in a town where I know maybe 5 people, I am newly single, and have no real friends. :( What did I get myself into??
My job is really crazy... I work at a bank thats open 7 days a week... yeah you read that right 7 DAYS!! The only day we close is Christmas Day. So I work 5 days, but never really get a true weekend off. I am not complaining, its just really stressful at times. Sometimes I catch myself saying "I miss Tuscaloosa" -- haha, I never thought I would be saying that! Ok, well this is just a quick overview of how things are going... I swear there will be jucier, happier, maybe even sadder stuff later.
My job is really crazy... I work at a bank thats open 7 days a week... yeah you read that right 7 DAYS!! The only day we close is Christmas Day. So I work 5 days, but never really get a true weekend off. I am not complaining, its just really stressful at times. Sometimes I catch myself saying "I miss Tuscaloosa" -- haha, I never thought I would be saying that! Ok, well this is just a quick overview of how things are going... I swear there will be jucier, happier, maybe even sadder stuff later.
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